If you're really a police officer then where are your tusks?
These and other irrefutable proofs I slam in front of the DI
like a plate of damning sandwiches.
Show me your ID
without licking your lips.
I am full of bullion, I say,
I am an unfranked envelope
stuffed with chutney.
If this confuses my captor he does not show it,
strumming his beard and flashing me a piratical wink.
I uncap a biro.
He slips me his forearm.
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