No horses are murdered during the roadshow.
It's a sort of ground rule.
The title is just to get the kids in.
Once inside the gates, brindled geldings emerge
from a bunker, showing off a range
of cheap cakes: lemon moon, banoffee,
cherry bakewell.
The cakes are sellotaped to their faces -
that is how they showcase them.
For the finale, a snow-white mare
charges at the crowd,
before exploding in a shower of warm mince.
'It is not a murder - it is euthanasia,' whisper organisers
as disappointed punters wander out,
'The mare wanted to end things with dignity.'
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